Spring&Renewal: Primavera y Flores
by Monochromatic Paint
Summary: From government conspiracies to aliens abducting his friends, Sora just doesn't know what to do. RiSo AU


A/N: Well, my friends always tell me that my stories are always really… depressing. So this is my attempt at humor. D: I. Urh. Hope it brings a smile to your face and a laugh into your life?

Disclaimer: The fact that this is posted on should tell you that the characters are _not_ mine. Also, the scents and titles "Spring & Renewal" and "Summer & Splash" are not mine. They're owned by Febreze.

Edit: 04.19.08 Changed the ending. Hopefully it's less cheesy now?

* * *

Spring&Renewal: Primavera y Flores

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"_Febreze Air Effects® is like a breath of fresh air any time because it actually sweeps away those stale and stifling odors and leaves a fresh scent." – Back of a Febreze Air Effects® bottle_

Hands crept around Riku's eyes and mouth, suddenly dragging him backward and slightly down, forcing his back to painfully bend. A raspy voice croaked directly into his ear and something suspiciously hard stabbed into his back, "Don't move and don't scream. I'll shoot."

Now, most people in this situation would freak the _fuck_ out. Riku? Well, he calmly reached his hands up and plucked the hands from his mouth. "Sora. You aren't scaring me," he deadpanned. See, what you, the reader, must understand, is that this sort of thing happens to Riku every day, and he'd long grown accustomed to the sudden attacks, almost even anticipating them.

His captors let go, the brunet indignantly stomping his foot and pouting. "How'd you figure it was me? I made Rox whisper into your ear and cover your eyes, too."

"Sora. I smelled you before you could even get within ten feet of me."

"Smelled? Are you implying that I smell, Riku?" Sora's lower lip jutted out even further, and his eyes grew dark with anger and he glared at the silver-headed teen.

Next to him, his blond twin sighed exasperatedly and fondly, "I _told_ you he'd be able to smell you from a mile away."

"But I don't smell!" The brunet stomped his foot once more and glared at both his brother and his best friend.

"I never said you smelled _bad_. Sora, you _reek_ of _Febreze_. I've told you this every time you've tried to ambush me." Riku paused here, leaning forward a bit to sniff at Sora's neck, eliciting a furious blush and a squeak from him. "And today's scent is… Spring and Renewal?"

Beside him, Roxas snorted, "Okay, I knew that Sora's tried, _tried_ being the key word here, to sneak up on you dozens of times. But the fact that you've memorized the _name_ of each smell is sorta freaking me out here. What'd you do? Go to Albertson's and get high on their air fresheners?"

It was Riku's turn to glare at the blond, dropping the amused, crooked smile he'd had on his face since Sora let go of him. "I did _not_ get high on Febreze. Sora used to tell me the name of the fragrance he was wearing each day. It just got stuck in my mind. Your sense of smell has the strongest link to your memory and all that. It's like they say in those Axe commercials. Or was it Red Spice? Whatever. And besides, he's holding the bottle in his hand." With that, Riku turned on his heel and headed toward the cafeteria, where he was sure the rest of their extensive group was already waiting for the three of them. Sora automatically followed, dragging Roxas along, and falling back into their usual conversations and banter.

* * *

That night, Roxas had simply been walking from his room to the kitchen to grab a soda. _Fuck global warming. And fuck you, too, sun._ Never mind the fact that the sun had long since set; Roxas would've continued to curse it either way.

Coming back from the kitchen, Roxas heard some sniffling coming from Sora's room. Confused, Roxas raised an eyebrow and carefully knocked on his brother's door. No answer. "So? Are you okay? I'm coming in, alright?" What Roxas was greeted by, was the sight of his older brother, lying down on his bed, facing away from the door, head buried into a pillow. "Oh my—For Pete's sake, Sora. This is _not_ a fucking Febreze commercial!" He slammed the door and stomped back into his room as Sora shot up from his bed, eyes distinctly dry and definitely _not_ tear-streaked.

"But it smells _good_, Rox!" Sora whined, yelling down the hallway.

* * *

Lunchtime. This was prime Riku-hunting time, and Sora took advantage of this fact each and every day. A hungry Riku was an unexpecting Riku, and Sora'd _sworn_ that he'd get Riku at least _once_! Riku'd always beaten Sora in any and _every_ thing; it was _infuriating_. Sora'd stalked the halls, bathrooms, and the lunchroom in search of the silver-headed teen to no avail.

Huh. Weird. Normally, Sora could spot Riku instantly, no matter where he was. There weren't that many people around with silver, gleaming hair, after all, so he was bound to stick out like a big, shiny, lustrous thumb. And he was _sure_ that Riku was here.

One pout and fifteen sighs later, Sora gave up in favor of heading back to the cafeteria in order to get his food. Oddly enough, when he reached his group's usual area, Riku was _still_ nowhere to be seen. _He couldn't have been sent home, right?_ Sora bit down on the spike of concern that seemed to be rising from the depths of… somewhere in his abdominal area. His spleen? Sure. Sora bit down on the spike of concern that seemed to be rising from the depths of his spleen, and casually asked, waving a piece of chicken on his fork, "Hey, have you guys seen Riku? I couldn't find him."

Everyone sitting at the table seemed to stop what they were doing, quickly glancing at one another before answering, nearly in unison, "Nope, haven't seen him. We thought he was with you."

Whoa. Before was weird. But _that_ was just plain _freaky_. Sora stared at them for a moment before cautiously going back to picking at his chicken, resolutely _not_ paying attention to their stares. A few moments passed, and it was as if the entire cafeteria had fallen into silence. Of course, silence here is a general term, for not five tables away, Xemnas, a senior, was loudly and melodramatically practicing his lines for the school play, _Soul of the Empire II_. The only sound audible within their group was the quiet scraping of Sora's plastic fork against the edges of the Styrofoam plate, though the gazes of his friends were so palpable that they seemed to make sounds of their own.

"Okay, what's with everyone today? First, you _all_ answer my question at the same time, with the same _words_. And now you're all just staring at me. It's… starting to creep me out, you guys. Really."

A shared look. "What? There's nothing wrong with us. It's just your imagination!" Another flash of eyes and everyone broke off into their separate conversations. Sora just stared at them all, eyebrows raised. _This is a government conspiracy, isn't it? They're trying to replace my friends with aliens, I'm _sure_ of it._ …_Well, it could be worse, I guess. They could be replaced by cannibals._

With that, Sora shrugged and went on with the rest of the day, though he wondered if he was ever going to be able to see his friends again

* * *

Sora shot up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat, panting heavily. He curled into himself, eyes sweeping across his room in search of movement or something, anything out of place.

_Oh, God. Oh, dude. That – was a dream, right? It's gotta be a dream, but _freak_, it seemed so _real_!_

Sora sat there, tightly squeezing himself together for a few minutes before throwing back his comforter and making a mad dash out into the hallway, grabbing his Struggle bat along the way. He threw open his brother's door, bat ready at a moment's notice.

"Sora!? Wait; what the fuck are you doing here at… 3 A.M. with a Struggle bat?" Roxas had burst up at the sight of his brother and the clatter that the door had made when it slammed into the wall.

"Okay, I just want Riku back. I won't have to hurt you if you just _give Riku back_," Sora determinedly glared at Roxas.

"What the hell do you mean, give him back? I never took hi—"

"Don't play dumb with me, you smartass alien! I know you took Riku, now call your motherboard or whatever and _give him back!_" Sora inched forward, pointing his bat directly at Roxas's face, and glared all the harder.

"… Wait. Lemme get this straight. You. Think that I. Am an alien. And I abducted Riku." Roxas spoke slowly, as if talking to a mentally retarded patient, using his hands to emphasize his point.

"I don't _think_ it; I _know_ it. You kidnapped the rest of my friends, and replaced them with your alien friends too! Did the government put you up to it? HUH!?"

"Sora. Get the fuck out. It's too early for me to deal with this. And you're an idiot. I'm not an alien; I'm your brother. And I'm shocked and appalled that you can't tell. And here I thought you loved me." Roxas had said all this in a flat voice, not even bothering to add his usual sarcastic bite into the remark. He flopped back down onto his bed, pulling the sheets up and turning away from the hallway.

"How do I know you're Roxas, then? Tell me something that only he would know about and would never tell anyone else, no matter what sort of anal probing he'd been put under!"

"… Jesus Christ, Sora. Where the hell do you come _up_ with these farfetched ideas?" Roxas sighed exhaustedly before speaking once again. "When you were eight, you went into Mom and Dad's room, digging through their drawers to find a hat you could borrow. You found something you _thought _was a hat, and wore it to block the sun from your eyes at the park. What you found, and wore for over six hours, was a bra. Mom's black, laced, padded bra. Good enough for you? If you're done, could you shut the door? I wanna get back to sleep, thank you."

When Roxas had started his story, Sora's face was in a stubborn frown. As Roxas progressed, however, Sora's face continued to grow darker and darker as his frown disappeared, until he was sure his cheeks were about to spontaneously combust at any given moment. "Heheh… Sorry 'bout that, Rox. I'll… just go now. Night, Rox," Sora said sheepishly. Receiving a grunt in reply, Sora quietly shut the door and walked back to his room, replacing the bat where he'd found it and almost instantly falling back asleep the moment he'd climbed back into his bed.

* * *

A week had passed since the Alien Incident, as Sora had dubbed it, and Sora had _still_ yet to be able to find Riku during lunch, which was _very, very_ odd, since he'd been able to find Riku during break and in his classes. Riku seemed to have literally disappeared off the face of the earth during lunch and after school lately, though. And, though Roxas had proved that he was indeed _Roxas_, everyone else continued to act weirdly. _Maybe they replaced everyone _but_ Roxas, knowing that I'd try to attack him. Damn them, those smart-butt aliens._

Sora quickly finished his lunch, wanting to make his rounds one more time, in hope of finding Riku. He felt, rather than saw, everyone's attention shift to him as he pushed from the table and walked away. He _knew_ they were looking at him, even if they weren't doing so directly.

He sighed, not really expecting to be able to track Riku down, but still determined to at least try. _Maybe Riku just doesn't want to be my friend anym—OHSHITWHATTHEFUCK?!_

A pair of hands had reached around him mid-thought and covered both his eyes and his mouth. "Don't move and don't scream. I'll shoot."

Sora ignored the voice, immediately ripping the hands off his mouth and eyes and trying to turn around, but the hands kept him firmly turned away from his attacker. Well, there was only one thing that he could do now.

"RAPE! HOLY FUCK, RAPE!! HELP ME!! RAA—MMPH!"

"Sora! Shit, SORA. It's just me. Stop freaking out." Riku had quickly turned Sora around and placed a hand on his mouth to silence the screams.

"Mweekuu?" Realizing that it _was_ just Riku, and that he was in no immediate danger, Sora leapt and hugged his best friend, nearly causing the two of them to lose their balance. "Holy crud! That scared the shit out of me. And where've you _been_ this last week?

Riku flushed, an uncharacteristic light pick adorning his cheeks as he turned his head to the side and softly shoved Sora off. "I, um. I had to do some… research. For this, uh, project. And I asked a few of our friends to help me with it everyday."

"A project? That was it?" Sora pouted, not believing Riku's obvious lie. "That's a load of bull, Ri. You would've told me if it was just a _project_. But _noooo_, you just basically vanished. Though… now that I think about it, one or two people have been missing from our lunch group every day for the past week…"

"Yeah. They were helping me. And, uh, technically, I'm not so much lying to you as telling you… an… untruth?" Riku grinned sheepishly, hoping that Sora would accept his lame explanation.

"Fine, fine. Whatever. At least tell me what this 'project' is." Sora stopped for a moment to sniff Riku. "Where's your usual Red Spice?" he asked quizzically. He sniffed again, and his eyes widened slightly in recognition. "Primavera y Flores!"

Riku's eyebrows rose in confusion. "What does that mean?"

Sora stepped back a little and laughed, blushing. "Well, uh. You know how on those Febreze bottles, it has the name of the smell in English _and_ Spanish? I was bored this week, so I memorized the Spanish names, too. You're wearing Spring and Renewal, right?"

"Yeah, I am." Riku grinned, leaning forward, face only a few scant centimeters away from Sora. "Well then, you wanted to know what my project was, right?" At a blush, due to the proximity of Riku, and a shy nod from the brunet, Riku's grin grew, confidence apparently boosted. "Well then, Summer and Splash, would you be willing to go out with this lowly Spring and Renewal?"

Sora stepped back a bit, eyes comically widened and placed his hands on Riku's shoulders, as if to push him away before letting his arms drop to his side. Riku bit his lip and masked his hurt with a smile, beginning to turn away when Sora grabbed the collar of his shirt and closed the distance between the two of them until his breath danced across Riku's lips. "Of course I accept, Riku." Their lips touched briefly, lovingly before the two pulled back, Sora gripping Riku's hand. "Well, I finally beat you in _something_."

"What?"

"You gave in. _You_ asked_ me_ out first." Their laughs bounced and echoed in the vacant hallways as the two leaned against each other. They turned to sit down against the wall, a silence settling, not completely comfortable, and Sora spoke up, eyes focused on the wall opposite them.

"Hey, Riku. Did you know?" Said teen's eyebrows cocked in curiosity.

"Know what?"

"Every time there's an awkward silence, a gay baby is born."

"Well, what do you suggest we do?" Riku inquired, voice not betraying the amusement that shone in his eyes. Sora finally turned to him, blue meeting aqua.

"Shut up, and make the silence less awkward."

Breaths mingled, and hands crept, as the two teens seemed to gravitate towards one another. Their lips met, this time longer, with more passion, until Riku broke the kiss.

"Well, if no gay babies were born, then we wouldn't be together, now would we?" he smirked toward the brunet. Sora rolled his eyes.

"Who cares? Just shut up and kiss me again, dumb butt smartass."

"Oh, we're quite the sexual deviant today, are we?" At this, Sora had buried his face in the crook of Riku's neck.

"Well, you smell better than Febreze, okay?" Their lips met once more, and despite the flurry of events and emotions that flooded his mind, Sora couldn't help but smile at the almost disgustingly corny and romantic thought that sprang into his head. _Spring and Renewal, and Summer and Splash. We make a good pair._

* * *

A/N: Oh my GAAWWWD, this fic came out of _nowhere_. Seriously. But it was good and fun to write. Sorry for the super overly cheesy ending, but I couldn't find a way to end it. So I left it there. The "dumb butt smartass" thing is a sort of inside joke between my friends and me. :P

Oh. I couldn't fit this in anywhere, but Riku was having people help him choose what scent to wear and what to say when he asked Sora out. Yeah.

Read and review, please? And if you're anonymous when you review, could you please leave an email, or some way to contact you? I'd really like to be able to reply!! :)


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